Banish Your Inner Critic Read online

  Copyright © 2017 Denise Jacobs.

  Published by Mango Publishing Group, a division of Mango Media Inc.

  Cover Artwork: Americo Morales

  Author Photo: Scott Redinger-Libolt

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  Banish Your Inner Critic: Silence the Voice of Self-Doubt to Unleash Your Creativity and Do Your Best Work

  Library of Congress Cataloging

  ISBN: (paperback) 978-1-63353-471-1, (ebook) 978-1-63353-472-8

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2017906492

  BISAC category code SEL009000 SELF-HELP / Creativity

  Printed in the United States of America

  Dedication

  For my sister Diane and my mother Deloria.

  May they both continue to see, own, and fully stand in the power of their phenomenal creative selves.

  “Every creative person I know, from designers to CEOs, suffers from the inner voice that tells us we’re not good enough, we’re not special enough, and darn it, nobody likes us. While a little humility is a good thing, too much self-doubt can keep you from achieving what you were put on earth to accomplish. Being your best, authentic self is the only way to fulfill your dreams and leave the world better than you found it. Denise Jacobs can guide you away from your self-imposed naysayers and set you on the path to achieving the serene self-confidence you deserve. Nobody charts this terrain better than she does.”

  - Jeffrey Zeldman, studio.zeldman & An Event Apart

  “We are our own worst enemy and harshest critic when it comes to expressing ourselves. Fear holds us back from reaching our potential and gaining the recognition we deserve. That is why I am so excited about Denise’s book. Banish Your Inner Critic is the book I have been waiting for. A book I believe will inspire a new generation to step out of the shadows and shine.”

  - Paul Boag, author of User Experience Revolution

  “Creativity will be the universal skill of the future in both business and in life. Banishing your inner critic is an ability everyone will need to work on. Denise is a creativity coach, who goes deep into the reasons why we commonly think we are not creative. She then gives us real solutions for how to overcome those hurdles, and bring out the inner creative inside of us. If you are looking to rekindle your creative instinct, have I got the book for you!”

  - Jason Cranford Teague, Futurist Author & Speaker

  “Banish Your Inner Critic: Great book! Easy to read and fun to use. Denise Jacobs has done a wonderful job of taking the complexity of self, and creating a system for each of us to access our creativity and release our creative power. Denise breaks down the inner critic into types and guides each reader through the process to access her distinctive creative self. Banish Your Inner Critic provides knowledge, insight, tools and practice for getting unstuck and expressing full creative potential. Plus, reading Denise’s book is like spending time with her, and she’s an inspiring delight.”

  - Rebecca Stockley, Co-Founder of BATS Improv in San Francisco CA, www.improvlady.com

  “Denise brings a practical approach to silencing the voice in your head determined to undermine your ability to work. Banish Your Inner Critic is a manual for finding the destination, direction, and drive to succeed at life. As a remote worker I frequently find myself with self-doubt and rampant imposter syndrome. I now have the tools to purge those blockers from my mind and be the creative person I know I am.”

  - Aaron Douglas, Mobile Software Lead, Automattic (& WordPress.com)

  “Banish Your Inner Critic is a must-read for everyone who has ever had self-doubt. As I read Denise’s book, my head nodded in agreement and heralded a whole heap of ‘ah-ha’ moments for me. This is Denise at her creative best. I encourage you, Dear Reader, to go deep to banish your inner critic!”

  - Kylie Hunt, Workplace, Productivity & Happiness Specialist

  “With creativity comes periods of self-judgment that cause anxiety or paralysis. For designers, there is always this critical voice inside that questions what we are doing from time to time. However, whether you are a creative professional or not, everyone has the potential to be creative. In this book, Denise Jacobs empowers readers to silence their inner critic and unlock their potential to be their best creative self.”

  - Andy Vitale, UX Design Principal, 3M Health Care

  “There is an Inner Critic in all of us and it may be the thing that is stopping us from reaching our full creative potential. In this delightful book, Denise openly shares her own struggles with self-criticism, making us feel like we aren’t alone. She gives us permission to own it, the tools to get unblocked, and get on the path to a more creative self.”

  - Jessie Shternshus, Founder of The Improv Effect and Author of Ctrl Shift: 50 Games For 50 ****ing Days Like Today

  “It’s harder than ever to turn down the voices and channels vying for your attention; even when you do, you may find your own inner critic ready to thwart your creative efforts. But Denise Jacobs offers compassionate and practical guidance for overcoming those doubts, channeling your focus, and getting down to creating.”

  — Kate O’Neill, founder of KO Insights and author of “Pixels and Place: Connecting Human Experience Across Physical and Digital Spaces”

  “The high tech world has created an epidemic of impostor syndrome. People doubt themselves. You can disagree when others doubt you, but when you doubt yourself, who’s going to defend you? Take your power back! In this book, author Denise Jacobs gives you the practical tools you need to own the room by owning your self. Banish that inner devil’s advocate and become as powerful as you can be.”

  - Alan Cooper, Software Alchemist, co-founder of Cooper, and Author

  Table of Contents

  Introduction

  Are You Doing Your Best Work?

  Triumphing Over My Own Inner Critic

  It’s Time for You to Triumph Too

  How to Use This Book

  The Content

  Exercises: Creative Doses

  Creative Dose Structure

  Online Companions

  Guidelines for Success

  Choose Your Path

  Write It Out

  Dude, Where’s the Writing Space?

  Give Yourself Time to Process

  Read and Revisit

  The Origin of the Inner Thoughts

  Disclaimers

  Chapter 1 | Why Banish the Inner Critic?

  Our Intrinsic Creativity

  Your Brain on Creativity

  Creativity, Interrupted

  Meet the Inner Critic

  Creativity vs. The Inner Critic
r />   Reclaiming Creativity

  Chapter 2 | Take Back Your Creative Power

  To Reclaim, We Must Rebuild

  Recognize the Power of Thinking Differently

  Take Advantage of the Brain’s Plasticity

  Rehabilitate Your Thoughts

  Build A Whole New Mind Frame

  Give Yourself a Creative Dose

  Become Full of Mind

  Creative Dose: Mindful Thought Acceptance

  Awaken Your Compassionate Self

  Creative Dose: Self-Esteem vs. Self-Indulgence vs. Self-Compassion

  Creative Dose: The Voice of Support

  Glean Your Inner Critic Afflictions

  Recognize Your Inner Critical Voice

  Creative Dose: The Critical Voices in Your Head

  Give It A Name

  Creative Dose: Identify It and Name It

  Learn the Guises of the Inner Critic

  Creative Dose: The Many Faces of The Inner Critic

  Know Thy Inner Critic

  Creative Dose: Identify Your Inner Critic Achilles’ Heel

  It All Begins With the First Step

  Chapter 3 | “People Will Think My Work Is Dumb” - Judgment Dread

  Are They Judging Me? They’re Judging Me, Aren’t They?

  Dreading Judgment

  Understand the Need to Belong

  Know Negativity Bias and the Nature of Fear

  Creative Dose: F.E.A.R.

  Reconcile the Fear of Rejection

  Creative Dose: A Face of Approval

  See Reality More Clearly

  Recognize Cognitive Distortions

  Know Your Cognitive Distortions

  Creative Dose: Surprise Journal

  Seek Positive Confirmation

  Creative Dose: Swipe File of Support

  Stop Awfulizing

  Creative Dose: “And then...”

  Practice Radical Ratification

  Stop Hiding in Plain Sight

  Creative Dose: Your Uniqueness Advantage

  Accept Who You Are

  Creative Dose: Embrace Your Shake

  Live Better Through Criticism

  Creative Dose: Curious and Open

  Stay True to Yourself

  Creative Dose: More Clear, More Empowered

  Choose to Contribute

  Creative Dose: Focus on the Work

  We’ve Only Just Begun

  Chapter 4 | “Nothing I Do Is Any Good” - High Self-Criticism

  Put the Hammer Down

  Self-Criticism Constrains

  Attend To Your Self-Talk

  Release Outdated Expectations and Shake Off Shame

  Creative Dose: Get At the Source

  Come To Your Own Defense

  Creative Dose: Compassion for the Selves

  Stay In the Present

  Creative Dose: The Anti-Rumination Hand Squeeze

  Creative Dose: S.H.I.F.T. to Three+3

  Get Perspective and Gain Control

  Create A Healthy Mental Distance

  Creative Dose: Self-Talk Reboot

  Break On Through To the Other Side

  Creative Dose: Inner Critic Undoing

  Change Your Mind By Hand

  Creative Dose: Swipe Left

  Cease Self-Censoring

  Question and Challenge

  Creative Dose: Get Up, Stand Up

  Tune In to Tune Out

  Creative Dose: Turn Down Da Noise, Turn Down Da Funk

  Reassign Duty

  Creative Dose: The Inner Critic As An Intern

  Walking Away From the Hammer

  Chapter 5 | “I’m Not Good Enough”- Deficiency Anxieties

  Enough is Enough

  Use Your Brainpower For Good

  Think Like a Scientist

  Creative Dose: Emotion and Thought Inquiry

  Shift to Ample

  You Are Enough

  Creative Dose: Take Inventory

  Readjust to Trust

  Creative Dose: The Parallel Trust Universe

  Be A Friend Indeed

  Creative Dose: Quantum Companionship

  Learn, Expand, and Mix It Up

  Believe That You Can Be Informed and Able

  Know the Four Stages of Competence

  Creative Dose: Quick Learnin’

  Build Skills With Intention

  Creative Dose: Practice Deliberately

  Amp Up Your Ability to Listen

  Creative Dose: Take In, Reflect Back

  Raise A Barn

  Creative Dose: Join Forces and Plus It

  Steal Like An Artist to Remix

  Creative Dose: Be a Mixmaster

  Beyond Enough

  Chapter 6 | “I’m Not As Creative As Everyone Else”

  - Comparison Syndrome

  Comparison Syndrome Takes Deficiency Anxiety to Eleven

  Unenviable Envy

  Break the Compulsion to Compare

  Arrest: Stop the Triggers

  Creative Dose: Trigger-free and Happy

  Assess: Become Self-Referential

  Creative Dose: Apples to Apples

  Creative Dose: Keep Your “But” Out of It

  Attune: Embrace Your “Onlyness”

  Creative Dose: Determining Distinctiveness

  Move From Stagnation to Action

  Ascertain: Learn from Envy

  Creative Dose: What Lies Beneath Your Envy

  Admire: Transform Envy

  Creative Dose: A Comparison Syndrome Intervention

  Creative Dose: To Admiration and Beyond

  Acknowledge: Recognize Effort and Reward Success

  Creative Dose: A Celebration of Effort and Achievement

  Act: Start Your Own Adventures

  Creative Dose: Take Action

  Leveling Up

  Chapter 7 | “I’m Not Creative” - Creativity Denial

  What State Are You in?

  Confirm Your Creativity

  Acknowledge Your Abilities

  Creative Dose: “Yes, I Am”

  Use Your Imagination for Good

  Creative Dose: What’s in the Box?

  Bestow Upon Yourself

  Creative Dose: “I dub thee...”

  Overcome Overwhelm

  Transform Imposition into Opportunity

  Creative Dose: Word Choice

  Reclaim Time, Create Mental Space

  Creative Dose: To Don’t List

  Hack Your Body-Mind

  Creative Dose: Cop a Power Pose

  Dispel Creativity Misgivings

  Intend Inspiration

  Creative Dose: Inspiration-Hunting

  Become an Idea Machine

  Creative Dose: 10 Ideas a Day

  A Change of State

  Chapter 8 | Step Into Your Creative Power

  The Road Home

  Be More Of Yourself

  Become Self-full to Become Self-less

  Creative Dose: Refilling the Cup

  Use Your Creativity for Good

  Creative Dose: Where Experience, Skill, and Need Meet

  Shine Your Light

  Be Your Brilliance

  Creative Dose: Tune In To Your Strengths

  Share Your Brilliance

  Creative Dose: Share Your Expertise

  Be Stronger Together

  Have (At Least) Two Heads

  Creative Dose: The Buddy System

  Give Validation, Get Validation

  Creative Dose: Give What You Didn’t Get

  Welcome Home

  Afterword

  Realiz
ing Dreams

  What’s Next?

  Take the Work Further

  Work With Me

  Connect With Me

  Connect with me online

  Share the Love

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Notes

  “Banish your inner critic to Madagascar on an expedition to search for rare lemurs.”

  — Marelisa Fabrega, writer & blogger (inspired by SARK, Make Your Creative Dreams Real)

  Introduction

  Are You Doing Your Best Work?

  You’re feeling the pressure to perform: you’re on a tight deadline, and there is a lot riding on your ability to come up with something great.

  But, try as you might...nothing. You can’t think, you can’t problem-solve. You’re uninspired. Generating new or interesting ideas?

  You wish!

  Why?

  Because you

  shoot down your ideas before they even have a chance

  call yourself a failure because others around you are succeeding

  discount your ideas because they aren’t 100 percent original

  tell yourself that you’re just not creative at all

  have a hard time valuing what you create

  can’t imagine creating without anguish and effort, so you make it true...

  Unsurprisingly, you, my friend, are completely creatively blocked.

  And then, when you tune into your internal self-talk, you find a steady torrent of self-chastisement, internal insults, and put-downs:

  “Why can’t you come up with anything?!”

  “Wow – so you’ve got a master’s in marketing and this is all

  “You’re an idiot! Think, for chrissakes!”

  Yikes!

  Your creative paralysis is all the more frustrating because you’ve been on the other side. You’ve had moments when you danced at the intersection of your skills, interests, natural abilities, and aptitudes. You were excited, completely engaged, and seemed to be an endless fount of ideas and solutions. You felt completely knowledgeable, powerful, and competent. Whatever it was that you were doing, you totally nailed it. The experience was fantastic.

  For many of us, creating is a tortured process. The torture, however, is not inherent in creating itself, but instead comes from the fears we have around our ability to create. The constellation of our fears manifests as the Inner Critic. This psychological construct can trick us into believing the very worst about ourselves and our ability to create or do anything else of value in the world. It blocks the amazing ideas we have inside from coming out. The Inner Critic keeps us from accessing and expressing the very thing we desire: the flow of our creativity.